Here I am, on the bus again. It's different waking up with Emily on these mornings. Instead of just getting around by myself, there is someone else up and around now. I like be able to see her awake before I leave for school. She makes me lazy. The last couple of days her and I have not had work or school so all we did was hang out. Again, it's nice to relax with her, but when I needed to start on my homework I had a heck of a time getting motivated. I just wanted to sit around with my wife! With Emily working less days now, she's going to be home a lot more and I am going to have to learn how to work on things WHILE she's there. I've got so many side projects on hold that I can't afford to not work on things while she's there. Literally. I am having trouble acquiring my private student loan and if I don't get it, then we may need to take out a normal loan that is not deferred. I'll have to find some sort of income then or step up on my charcoal drawings to pay the bills. I am kind of hoping that I can just put my complete heart and soul into my final projects this semester and hopefully have a good enough reel to get me hired somewhere doing something in the field of animation. Here's to hoping.
With all of this money trouble, I still have a strange sense of ease about getting through school. I am not sure if it is an ignorance thing of not understanding how dire things are or if God is giving me this peace. I don't know what I will be doing when I get out of school, but I am hopeful. I would really like to grab that associate development internship that Disney is offering for just out of school undergraduates. While I don't see myself sticking around to work at Disney, I do prefer that fluid animation style and would like to be helped to develop my skills towards that type. Plus it's a paid internship!
I'm in an awkward position between just starting my dream and reaching it. I've already quit a stable job to concentrate on "my career" but I haven't quite landed the puck past the goalie yet. I am at the center of the rink and approaching the goal and I am afraid to shoot since I am still a bit far away. Maybe I am closer than I think and should take the shot? Before I get too close and have to spend more time trying to reset myself up for the shot. Wow I went a little far with that metaphor. I just don't know if I am ready to start applying to studios but maybe I don't realize that I am ready, but if I don't, we could get into debt and I'll end up needing to do other things in order to pay to finish my school and never get a job in animation until were on our feet again. Phooey.
I think I am grasping animation well, but I know that my illustration skills are lacking. I need to practice more on my figure and gesture drawing as well as just draw more. My sketchbook is bare of drawings and sketches and has been filling up with notes more lately. If I can just establish the habit then I could improve quickly I believe, but on default I'm lazy and would rather sit at the tv or computer than draw. But I love to draw! I just need to remind myself that it's something I like doing and that being lazy is not very fulfilling in the end. I always ending up feeling very down a depressed like I am doing anything with my life when I am too lazy. I also need to motivate myself to go for walks or to the gym so that way not only am I exercising my mind but my body as well. So much still to do towards bettering myself...
As a side note, I've found a fellow classmate that rides the train out to the same area and we catch each other on our Friday commutes. I haven't really gotten to know him that well yet, but I think today I'll ask him about his plans and to see some of his work. We have today's Alt. Strat class together and I believe camera & sound on Wednesdays. Alt strat is a fun class but I haven't had my heart into it much. I'm not sure if that's because I am not as interested in it or if it is its placement in the week being on Friday morning. It is quickly becoming my throw-away class. Not that I won't still do good and get a good grade, but I am not putting 100% of my effort into this class. With 4 other animation production classes, I have to have one be my lazy class.
Anyway... That's it for now.